Honey From The Rock

My alter ego is John Wayne. He would be my second self. My better half. The part of my identity that I don’t’ let my friends see. He makes vague appearances when I’m shooting my father’s guns or driving my grandfather’s machinery or when I look over a field of green turning wheat. Or sometimes after a walk through country roads that’s been so long my legs are a tiny bit numb and my stride is a set rhythm and I’m wearing the perfect boyfriend jeans. I am John Wayne. Or sometimes when I throw open the hood of my car and crook my hip or when I slip into the gruff, know it all responses including the cuss words when I answer my uber girly friends. I let a little bit of John Wayne out. My alter ego goes real deep because you see I inherited him. Its eve a little watered down in me. But in my father its a little bit closer to being John Wayne and my grandfather is even closer. The American myth of the cowboy, of John Wayne strutting the original swag, the careless nonchalant shrug of a g...

Hi. So I have this theory that good things become really great when you can share them with someone. And since I'm home on fall break, off facebook, and doing this morning kind of solo (except for a puppy who is ob.sessed. with a tennis ball and a brother who just woke up), I thought I'd share my good things with my host of blog readers :)  so here it is 1. Coffee with pumpkin spice creamer, made the way I really like it: strong with only the creamer mellowing it out.  2. This grandpa sweater I found in a closet. incredibly warm I must say. uber cozy.  3. Reading the Word in a white rocking chair on a sunny, quiet back porch.  4. Waking up with prayers rising from my mind. this doesn't often happen to me, but I woke up just needing to commune with my Lord and today it came easier than normal.  5. Paul Simon. 6. Nine freakin hours of sleep last night. haven't gotten that much sleep in one time since summer I think.  Being home has a...

I'm sipping here at Starbucks. I don't like writing here but Macon doesn't have real coffee shops (just drive through Starbucks); this one happens to have a patio of sorts but still no good view of the sky or anything actually inspiring. I'm facing the back side of an El Sombrero and there's a small parking lot. And it smells like the cigarettes that the employees smoke on their breaks. So just a few things I've been realizing. One, I'm able to almost completely detach myself from school when I'm here. Its taken about three days but I'm slipping into this place. My problems at school have been set aside, the independence of dictating my own schedule, the dedication and freedom my schoolwork requires, it all kind of fades a little bit. Its more calm here, but also less exciting. More steady maybe with the stability of a family. Two, I discovered pumpkin spice chai tea lattes. Who knew, right? They EXIST. Three, my SIP, this huge essay I'm ...

Life's been a bit tough lately. for lots of reasons, homework, work, friends, figuring how to live well in this place where I'm not sure if I belong yet. Transition is harder than I know. But it's October and I really really want to be happy. I don't want to be messy. I want to rejoice and delight in the wonder of October. The leaves, the pumpkin everything: lattes, candles, muffins, pancakes, decorations (I even bought this huge one today for our house), the colors, the smells, the season of autumn. But, like I said, life's been tough. but I still want to rejoice. I want to celebrate, I want joy. So here's my verse for right now, this area of struggle: Psalm 63:3. "Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips shall praise You." So for October, its going to be a month of celebration. Of counting blessings because of Christ's love beautifying it all. the struggle and the pain, the colors and smells of this place, of right now.